Friday, September 30, 2005

Early Christmas for men

... unexpectedly finding a scene on a porno that really works for you.

Chosen solely for illustrative purposes -- I don't know or recommend this film.

I'm Learning

Boy -- I would very much like to ball the lead singer of this band I'mplaying with.

But she's married.

And it didn't work out so well for me in the past [either lead singers or married broads].

I love being an adult.

btw -- if I actually had a shot? In a second!...

Thursday, September 29, 2005


A night with Rickles, or a night with Carol Wayne?

Goddamnit, I *hate* getting old ....

Actually, now that I think of it, the question isn't hard -- Carol Wayne died twenty years ago...

Cheezygoof remains a genius

from her blog:

the wisdom of beef

erection = parasympathetic system
ejaculation = sympathetic system

hmmm, how shall i remember it all?

point and shoot.

.....not "pointy shoe," but thanks for clarifying anyway, beef.

For now, Just Survive

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


Wow. Mark D. at Wampus was able to turn a few of my photos into something nice. This is what the Saturday night show felt like to me.

Hot Vacation Spot

From Cafe Press, home of my favourite Crowd Scene shirts:


I've lost control of my own stupid blog.

You know you're a loser when you "publish" something and can't even make it look like you want it to look.

I blame Bellotto...

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I Am the Piper

here's what happens when you drink

You know, you drink

You pay the piper!


I can't believe they'd drink wine in front of an alcoholic!


I can't believe the diet sodie was mostly ice!

Good food, good friends. Good times.


and please, before anyone gets on and posts about Adams being a Nazi, or what a horrid person he was [because of his performances in particular roles], please pull your head out of your ass.

Lots of good people disagree about how to perform well. In these polarized times [when haven't times been polarized?], too many people assume that, because they want good television, that they are right and the other side is wrong and evil and watches shit. Fuck off and grow up. Anyone who wants to take on a particular episode of "Get Smart," or who criticizes a choice made by Adams, or even a detractor of "Inspector Gadget," have at it. That would be good. Maybe I'll write 200 words about his ability to humanize an animated canine superhero. Or maybe you wish that his joint ventures (as a performer) with Don Rickles had survived a Commerce Clause analysis that defanged the federal power to regulate in the area. But don't give me your reflexive gagging because he starred with in "The Nude Bomb!" Please just avoid the reflexive gagging.

Actually, I don't know why I bother. If anything I'm writing about 'reflexive" responses makes sense to you, you're not who I'm writing this for ....

Ya Happy, Tomanonymous??

Alright, I got the links fixed.

Didn't have to do anything too dramatic either, huh?


Well, we'll see about this brighter, more chipper look.

I got some excellent blurry shots at lunch at Jaleo, but they must await my loading at home...

Thanks again to Kurt this weekend.


Saturday Night revisited

I very much enjoyed seeing Grahame perform, and Evan was, as always, a little devil seducing his fans. Here's a shot of Alice and Evan, and you can visit this site to see a Little Galaxy Hut photo show.

Monday, September 26, 2005

I can't leave out my fave of Miz Chriz***

To those new to my photographic oeuvre, I never met a focused picture that I liked, and never met a blur I dodn't love...


Rock and Roll -- A Festishists Delight Night

Grahame was a rocking

dude, but

Alice Despard had more stomp boxes.

Lisa may not have been tipsy, but she [and I daresay everyone else but JSharples, the late riser] was a bit bleary-eyed leaving the diner. Nevertheless, she was -- as always --ruby-shoed...

whew-got some photos

thanks to flickr...

There is No Point

There is No Point in blogging about the weekend without photos.

Who needs a lengthy post about my crazily busy weekend without some art........

Boy, you get used to some things [some free things], and it's a pisser when they disappear. Godamned software...

Um, I can't upload photos.

hang tight --I'm sure it was an entertaining weekend. If I can just add art ....

The Case of the Lost Weekend

Thanks to Earl Stanley Gardner and John Lennon for the title of this entry.

I don't really know where the weekend went. It was one of the busiest I can remember.

Friday night was quiet. A quick post-work hand-job, and I was off to the camera store to look at digital SLRs. I went in in search of a D70s, and left pretty sure that I'd want a D50.

I went home and researched the D50 v. D70s, and opted for the D50 [in my mind], with a few questions.

up early on Sat. -- a busy day ahead.

I zoomed to Penn Camera Tysons, where I met with the Nikon Rep. to go over my questions.

Walked out with the D50:

Then, I zoomed out to Pr. Wm. Cty. to pick up Jaimie and Lucy to look for a Homecoming dress for Jaimie. Back to Tysons [well fuck ME!] to look out there.

Lucy found one, Jaimie was shut out. No photos yet...

Zoomed back to PW Cty. Saw a gorgeous gown for Jaimie. But no purchase. Then -- off to Clifton [late] to meet Sharples & Kurt before the Mets-Nats game. Watched a little golf. Watched, apparently, too much -- we didn't hit the road until after 6:00.

Well, we missed the grand slam in the 1st inning -- it seems that Freddy Couples had to hose our asses and make us late. But I digress...

Anyway, who needs to see David Wright hit a grand slam -- even if you'd driven from NYC just to see it...

But I digress....

Great game -- crisp, well-pitched. Fucking Nats...

On the GalHut. Beautiful music from Grahame Davies, and some fun. Grahame Performing

Off to the diner. Suddenly, it's 2:00 am, and I am in Arlington. resized Lisa feet

Lisa, they're looking good ....

Only 10 hours until the 17th Anniv. party for my AA group ["We Agnostics"]. 17 yrs. for the group, not for me...

Well, I'm asleep by 5 am. and up by 7:50; it seems a sleepover involving my daughter went badly. The 25-yr.-old boy living there is arrested for carnal violations of a high school girl. This gives me a busy Sunday morning.

AA Party in jeopardy.

i bag the party.

But Jaimie still needs a dress. can we squeeze in a search before our 4:00 pm racquetball game?

Or will something else get bagged.

Here she is at Tyson's -- a grab shot, but I love it...resized Jaimie Tysons Garage

GoDAMNit what a weekend....

anyway, the effing photo loader is all kerflummozed still, but joyous is there to hep me out. Thanks, my friend flickr!

I cut out most of the weekend, 'cause it was too crazy ....

Friday, September 23, 2005


The seats, in
Section 327, threatened to be a disaster. The Nats had fallen out of things. They started zippy players who were out there on day one.

And it was glorious. The seats were out of the sun, a little wind blew along the wall, peanut shells were tossed. Ryan Church insulted jews ["where are you, jew?"], Brandon Watson made a GREAT throw to whack a Giant [Moises Alou] at the plate. Brandon threw a strike... Just great.

Bellotto made a mess and tried a grilled dog. He's a gourmand. Parker threw his peanut shells over his show-dler...

Thursday, September 22, 2005


Actually, I currently lack the compulsive gambling problem -- I just don't get it. I have taught myself to try to have fun playing, but it doesn't really work for me. Although i do love the noise and the felt tables and the dealers or box men; just not the gambling ...


btw, I'm the most conservative craps player in the world. I bet the pass line, play the odds, and hang out hoping to make a little dough.

And I listen to the growling, smelly man say "gimme a hard six!"


I'm trying to teach her to play craps, but all she wants to do is hustle pool players...

I guess

I guess I'll have to be more secretive about my love life.

It seems everyone opposes my reentry into the romantic world.

The photo up-loading software is kerblooey at this time... this joke went nowhere.


Wednesday, September 21, 2005


it's good to know my favourite airline doesn't need wheels to land ....

A Moral Dilemma

I'm a vegetarian, but only for health purposes -- I still like to kill animals.

What should I do?

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


My penis is small,
therefore I must compensate:

I Am In Love

I've been loath to raise the subject, but i have fallen in love. I must now again confront the ravages of the soul that that entails.

Damn it all.


Damn it, they're killing me.

Monday, September 19, 2005


Why is "teat" such a funny word?

Or am I wrong here?
"Relationships don't thrive because the guilty are punished but because the innocent are merciful."...If these things called marriages are ever going to make it past 10 or 20 years, with any amount of health, we're going to have to learn to live out that statement.

To learn the rhythms of grace and mercy, and to learn to live there. ah, there's the rub."

from the Vortex

This writer hits on something -- the rhythms. People don't just move or speak with a particular rhythm, they live a rhythm. And the rhythms of grace and mercy -- or even just forgiveness -- are profoundly different from most peoples natural rhythm. While such a rhythm might seem old-fashioned, I'm not sure it existed "in the day," although I think most of us would like to think so.

I know my rhytm as a cutting, wise-cracking critic of my fellow man can be disasteful, and I hope I've slowly changed it [although I'm not sure what I now live].

Saturday Night fever

This Saturday, the 24 of Sep., Grahame Davies of the Crowd Scene will be performing a set of music at the Galaxy Hut in beautiful Arlington, VA.

It will be fine music, and we can see if Muleboy will return to the demon rum!

The Third Circuit Fears Me!

Yet another case submitted on the briefs without argument.

They just don't want me in Philly!

And I legend, "he, Lama, he, as in little something, you are versed, for the effort, know you." And it says, "OH -, uh, there is no money, but, if you die, on your dying bed, receive total consciousness." So, I received this goin ' for me, which is nice.

A Sporting Weekend

There was a bit of a sports theme this weekend.

On Saturday, I went to see Danny and melinda fro the Real World in an Army-sponsored rock climbing contest/promotion.

No, I'm not kidding....

Saturday night, I saw a sneak preview of the new Disney flick "The Greatest Game Ever Played," which wasn't half bad. In fact, though predictable, it was quite good. Ienjoyed it.

Yesterday, I playedracquetball with Jaimie. It was her first time out, but she got the hang quickly, and we'll be going back.

Who remotely gives a shit about any of this???

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Madison Avenue, here I come ....

"Poon -- it's what's for dinner!"
Junge, wurde ich sicher wie, eine attraktive Frau zu finden, die mich mein Gesicht in ihrem Whiskerbiskuit würde begraben lassen und holte sie zu den Hunderten der Herz-zerreißenden Orgasmen!


I think the chances of my ever again listening to the new Paul McCartney record are creeping quickly toward zero.

This isn't a comment about the record, it's a comment about me.

But I do listen to "See No Evil" a lot lately. So some things can stay on my turntable for a while....

Houghton v. Mifflin

I'm not sure why Houghton Mifflin's on-line dictionary gets people so pissed off.

Oh, it's not the dictionary; it's me!

btw, I found out I can have a useless vestigial appendage removed for free and it won't lead to any insurance troubles.

I just can't decide if having my dick cut off will eventually bother me.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

A Kudos

The last time that I said something good about Paul McCartney, John Rutenberg was in grade school.

That being said -- I like McCartney's new album a lot! I'm really glad that it's not a "rocker," but that it's what it's. And I'm glad his producer apparently kicked his ass.

His producer is Jack Nicholson's Sean Penn. If you get my drift...

[if you get my drift, you speak a foreign language. Even *I* can't make out what I said!]

I hear the things I like from Ram, and stuff i like from the B*atles, and just stuff I like.

And "he does sincerity well."

If some of this isn't genuine and sincere, he's gotten much better at something he sucked at for years -- faking it.

btw, the word "kudos" is singular -- "he gave him a kudos." We get fooled by the "s" and because people begin sentences exclaiming the word, not giving it a singular/plural designator. But it derives from the Greek. Houghton Mifflin discusses the usage problem and tells us that my quick fix is actually mandated by etymology: "The singular kudo remains far less common than the plural use; both are often viewed as incorrect in more formal contexts.·It is worth noting that even people who are careful to treat kudos only as a singular often pronounce it as if it were a plural. Etymology would require that the final consonant be pronounced as a voiceless (s), as we do in pathos, another word derived from Greek, rather than as a voiced (z)."

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


Yet another example of the liberal media run amok.

Will somebody *please* tell what the big fuss is about?

I am so steamed -- you don't know!

Black Puss

Jesus Christ.

I just found my backstage pass from the 1999 world tour.

God we were young once.

My thanks to Phil and Tom, who made that a great tour and a great time. They were true gentlemen.

Unfortunately, it was one of my last happy times [in the middle of darkness] before the DARK darkness truly hit...

yeah; I said it.


Wow -- Beth Tinnon's photo really prompted a response!

So here's more of the scary, scary broad!


It's probably a really good thing I didn't tell her I went for Brown in 2000 ....

Dating is Weird

This dating thing is incredibly weird.

last night, because we'd had a few "successful" outings, I thought I could really share with my date.

So I broke down and told her I really liked bush.

She stormed out of the Panera.

It wasn't until this morning that I realized she thought I meant the president .....

Monday, September 12, 2005


Tonight is my last rehab session in "Relapse Prevention" -- ten weeks of learning little. But not nothing.

I am graduating to "Sober Living."

Sometimes I think they want to reinforce alcoholism to feed the industry of recovery. But then I hear about all the poor souls who didn't make it.
i just finished my

"Moral Arbiter,
Appellate Jock"


God help us -- he has a laminator!

You Gotta Watch What You Wish For

I let my supervisor at [that other job] know that I was keen on oral argument.

Apparently, not everyone is.

I've got one in twoo weeks in Philadelphia, and can have essentially one a week if I want. BUT that's in addition to a brief a week.

And I think I preferred oral argument when I KNEW THE LAW and was NOT IGNORANT LIKE I AM ABOUT THIS NEW STUFF.




If someone handed you this photo, how would you react?

More specifically, would you assume she was a torch singer from Nashville working in Atlantic City [at the "Top of the Trop"], or

would you assume she had won the role in a horror film as a possessed witch haunting children and silly men after her unfortunate death?



btw, I'm pleased that broccoli stirred such a response.

We'll move to whole grains as the month progresses...


Man, I wish today weren't such a busy day for me. I need to settle up something with the IRS [I think saving myself $30 grand is worth a bit of an effort, don't you?], and I'm trying to do the right thing in a case, which requires extra work [why does it *seem* like doing the right thing always takes more work? even though i no longer believe that ....]........................


As I learned more and more about what happened in the gulf, particularly Lousisiana, during and after katrina, and leanred more about FEMA's statutory mission and role in disaster relief, I realized how important my little pet topic -- federalism -- is, and how conflicted we have become as a people.

But I don't have time right this second to think about it and write something better than my usual quarter-assed drivel.

"Where were the troops?" "Why were there no buses?" "How could 'the media' get there and no federal assistance was on site?" "Why didn't they do anything?"

It turns out some of these questions have very complex answers. And no easy answers.

And -- in a n oft-repeated theme with me -- if you want easy answers, you have to accept consequences. And federalism decisions have lots of consequences.

If the Feds should have raced in, they presumably should have been authorized to race in. So along with that authority, principled folks would have to live with fed. control over lots of things: federal medical marijuana oversight [Gonzales v. Raich], potential military involvement if posse comitatus is changed, why possibly even
carpetbaggers! You *could* tailor federal involvement in limited things, but who wants the messy debate about all that?

If you want state supremacy, principled folks would have to face consequences -- dead citizens because local authorities lack resources, local laws restricting "rights" that people in other jurisdictions have, potential loss of important protections from government interference.

It's all so gloriously complex and important -- and I have to earn a bleeping living.

Thank my lucky stars I CAN currently eanr a living!!!

**<< MWAH >>** [a big kiss to my job].

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Goddamnit, I love broccoli!

Ralph Query

What euphemism or metaphor for vomiting is *your* fave?

You know, "the technicolour rainbow," "ralphing," "driving the porcelain bus" ...

Mine is "calling Ralph on the Big White Phone."

I ask because I got into middle age largely avoiding vomit. Teetotaling until age 32 helped me avoid lots, even drinking didn't get me.

but experience will out

I vomited every day during the summer of '02, though, to the point that I had a special loo on the tenth [unoccupied] floor of my bldg. ready and waiting.

I attended the 'Nats game, but wither the sun or the Diet Pepsi I bought got to me.

It was a sad trip home, and a sadder stay in my apt.

And the vomiting started before the Braves hit home runs ....

Friday, September 09, 2005

For Lupner

This is provided for Lisa, courtesy of Mr. Parker.

He is a good man.

His own needs may be met as well, of course ...


Once upon a time, a worker worked hard, but ... sporadically.

Down the hall from his office was a door to a stairwell -- one through which he could enter and exit unseen. He and a fictitious pal who also ... worked at his own pace.

One day, the door had a large device attached that had not been there the day before. It said "use in case of fire only" and "opening will sound alarm."

This device did not sit well with many.

Knowing the response of security the world over, and maintenance the world over,
the worker went in one Sunday, walked to the door, and pushed it open. Sounding the alarm.

The worker returned to his office.

Later, he felt guilty. Pleased, but guilty.

The alarm remained withut a battery for two and one-half years, and the door was used daily...

who was more at fault -- the worker, or the maintenance man who disconnected the alarm without repairing it?

and why?

Thank you.

Thursday, September 08, 2005


Was Jesus a looker?

Would God'a had an ugly kid?


before anyone gives me a huge ration of shit, "gallows" is singular.

"Gallows" is also plural, although "gallowses" is an acceptable plural as well!

[Houghton Mifflin]

Thanks for your patience...

Well, it's off to rehab to fight with my hippie evangelist counselor.

"When God closes one door, he opens another ...."

When I punch one counselor, ...

It';s good to "graduate" to a mid-level rehab where she contradicts almost everything I learned the first five weeks.

Well, Tom

You asked for 'em, you got 'em!


Favorite Rolling Stones album and reason.

Favorite Rolling Stones song.

mine: Album -- It's Only Rock and Roll. Opens with "If You Can't Rock Me." Rolling Stone magazine review got me enthused, left with a good taste in my mouth. Song - - "Can't You Hear Me Knockin'" Sticky Fingers at ten is a big deal.

I can't abide the Rolling Stones...


Some more Jane Greer for Mr. Parker ...

I'm think the gallows is pretty high right about now ...


This guy is starting to piss me off.

Tuesday night, a minor league pitcher got his first major league start. He couldn't go three innings, and the bullpen had to get USED UP.

That's okay; that shit happens.

But last night, with John Halama [33 yrs. old, 100 games experience in the bigs] pitching, he yanked Halama in the first. And Halama had, at that time, with two outs, given up a whopping


A playoff race is NOT the time to succumb to a fit of pique, or make a point at the expense of the game. And if he had no faith in Halama, what the fuck was Halama doing starting the game? Yeah, there were more runners aboard. Yeah, Halama was struggling. But Jesus Christ

luckily, it worked out. The 'Nats clawed back to lose in a 12-1 squeaker...

Luckily, only seven pitchers were used.

Jesus Fucking Christ...

At least Mr. Parker and Ms. Degerberg brought smiling faces to the game.

And Mr. Parker brought Greta Garbo with him. A major feat!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Hubba Hubba

Mr. Parker knows how to bring it on the noir babes....

Scalia and Ginsburg and the Elephant

Bill McClench Accepts Grammy


I Can Explain Everything

I don't hear a lot of B3 [or the virtual representation thereof] on the record; I hear keyboards, but they're doing other things. Similarly, lots of harmony vox, but no chick backup singers singing "yeah you" like on "That Smell."

There's pedal steel, but it's not derivative of "exile" or its ilk; there's a First National band kinda thing goin', w/ the steel up front.

There's not a lot of "Tumbling Dice" action.

Is Jules Verdone's latest record expected soon?

Ebert Need Fear Me Not

I go to few enough flicks that I'd better not waste one.

This summer, I saw

War of the Worlds
Sith Wars
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Broken Flowers
The Skeleton Key
The Aristocrats
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
The Constant Gardener

I didn't consider any to be a waste of my time.
I would have despised "Charlie," but Mary Watson, age 81 1/2, enjoyed it, and I therefore ended up enjoying it.
War o' and the Skeleton Key were clearly weaker in my book than BF, Sophisticates, 40-yr.-old, or Gardener, but they had something to offer.

Anyone else care to chime in on the flickering pix? I know it's an important pastime...


I saw Ms. Morris on an episode of "Celebrity Poker Showdown" or whatever the hell it's called.

She was an inexperienced poker player.

And I don't fear that the ranks of Mensa will be swollen soon.


Va va Va VOOM!

For Mr. Parker

Because I care.

I care deeply.

and I care even more:

And I urge you to go back to July 28 and July 21, where I cared deeply and passionately.

I wish to extend friendship...