Saturday, December 31, 2005

I Also Hate Walter Cronkite and Martin Short

in case you couldn't tell who 'twas in the first go'round

continued theme

as the blog pimp, I present, for mister parker and mister watson's pleasures:

The Requesting Party Shall Remain Anonymous

Friday, December 30, 2005


Well, actually, I don't know him.

I hate his music and his public persona.

For My Loopy Friend


Singing Rogers

I don't know if they were really jolly, but they were sure as hell really singing ...

More for Tara

Just in case you didn't really want another nude blonde image, I have offered a clothed brunette ...

I hope he satisfies ...

For Tara

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Not Joey Heatherton

Although she, too, was married to a large, lumbering ox. to the best of my knowledge, he never exposed his winkle to a little girl.

AND he starred in a feature film with Don Rickles [co-starring Abe Vigoda].

Would anyone be surprised to learn I own that film?

For those of you troubled by off-kilter

I offer that fucking tapdancer, and the Underhills. Oriented, as it were ["asia-ed"?].

For Mister Parker's Curiously Mild Friends ...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

and for the mildly curious

What? You're clamouring for Underhills, Watson-style ??!?

Scott, as seen by Scott

and a lovely daughter, as yet unblurred by adulthood...

Ann & Lisa

A Loop and a Friend

Scinta Claus is Coming To Town

a handsome pair o' bros...

Two thirds o' the Loop

That fucking tapdancer

Viva Los Underhills

Joe & Joe [Geaux et Geaux]

Jolly Rogers Mark I

Jolly Rogers Mark II -- loving siblings. Hello love, hello happiness...
These are the times that try men's souls...

Coming Soon

The TRUE story behind the real battle of the bands!

SEE the Underhills battle the Jolly Rogers.

SEE Joe v. Joe versus the entire tap-dancing community!

SEE married people and single people, NOT married to each other, SINGING SONGS TOGETHER. "Bye Bye Love" and "Cold, Cold Heart", for just two examples...

The photographic truth will be known, and seen.

Watch for it here...

If You Feel Blue

Seasonal affective disorder can affect anyone. If you're feeling down, low, depressed...

if you're blue...

just say "Kilimanjaro" aloud.

You should feel better.

Seriously -- try it!
He ain't even in this war!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Thank you, Santa ...

Monday, December 26, 2005

I can dream, can't I?


Jestaplero once asked:

does the absence of criminal liability for this action make it somehow less of an impeachable offense than, say, perjury?

I think not.

But, because impeachment is a political determination rather than a legal one, it may be less of an impeachable offense for countless other reasons. The absence of a consitutency of offended, concerned citizens would certainly render it so.

I hope that there will be countless concerned citizens. Whether they are offended will be gathered later. And we need to work out where we come down on trading liberty for security.

If we're exporting liberty but restricting it here, we've got what Thomas Jefferson called "a warped and fucked-up sense of humour."

Theo Himself, with Victoria Principal

Victoria's photograph removed by administrator.

Thank You, Ted

Ted Koppell and Tom Brokaw joined Timmy Russert on "Meet The Press" this weekend, and Ted made a point with which I agree.

He said that the time to meaningfully discuss, debate, and decide [okay, *I*, George Mason, am responsible for that particular alliterative construction, not Teddy] [that's ol' 21st-Century me, btw ...] the degree to which we'll sacrifice civil liberties [also known as "personal freedoms," or "personal protections from government intrusion"] for enhanced security is right now, before another attack on our soil occurs and, in a mindless rush, we elect security over anything else.

Or, as I used to say to my neighbour Geroge Washington [whom we called "Gay-org" because he looked so damned Teutonic towering over us], "don't go to the supermarket when you're hungry!"

That's just what I said.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

A Merry Christmas

Have yourselves a merry l'il Christmas.

Whether you celebrate the arrival of the baby Jesus as a divine moment or not, I'm sure all the readers and correspondents visiting celebrate good will toward his brothers and sisters. I love all of you.

Quite literally, we're all in this together.

Ho ho ho.

War is over [if you want].

Actually, I'm not sure I love Ratso. But we got the tuner back ...

Thursday, December 22, 2005

I Get It

Although mister watson seems not to understand, I think I now understand the President's position.

If one could assume good intentions, it would not be troubling. I understand the argument.

I await my thoughts.

I Concur

Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment II

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment III

No soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment IV

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment V

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment VIII

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

I Concur

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Oooops; I forgot to mention ....

to get a wiretap authorization [warrant] from the secret court, you didn't need to show probable cause that a crime was being committed.

Just a tie to nasties abroad.

"Nasties Abroad" -- didn't I date her in the '90s?


I've kept my virtual mouth shut because (1) I am apopleptic; (2) I am circumspect; and (3) I am scared.

So I will try to say a few calm, yet circumspect, thoughtful, straightforward things.

(1) This is not an easy issue. My reflex is to treat it as an easy issue -- a no-brainer. Because I find myself reflexive on the Bill of Rights. So I would have crowded theaters being the victims of pranks all the time...
But this involves potentially horrendous acts of violence. Against me, and my children. against my friends. And against my countrymen. My brothers and sisters. And my reflexes about the abstract shouldn't outweigh my concerns for safety. Dead people really probably *don't* care too much about their civil liberties. that's not just a bumper sticker.

Of course, ask all the men who died protecting those liberties, and they'd probably be really pissed off if you mentioned that, but ....

I digress.

So, we turn to a matter of gravity and safety requiring nuance rather than reflex.

I first turn to the the Fourth Amendment. It makes no exception --

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Hmmmm. No help to the executive there. But the amendment predated instant phones, and instant dirty you-know-whats.
Emergency searches -- they have to be conducted at lightning speed, with no time to get a warrant. Hmmmm -- the statute allows for that -- you can tap, and survey, and spy, and then just explain to the judges. The extremely deferential secret judges. So the emergency argument seems bogus.

Okay -- let's look into the idea that Congress authorized these wiretaps [leaving aside whether Congress can truly authorize the violation of the fourth amendment]. Why no, the post 9/11 necessary force authorization and the secret wiretaps statute expressly foreclosed these sorts of wiretaps [beyond a 15-day period that expired, well ... you do the math. 2001? Autumn?]. They apparently weren't authorized by statute.

Well -- it must be *inherent constitutional authority* -- that's the ticket! Of course, the Supreme Court explained to Harry S Truman and his progeny that presidential authority is at its weakest, and deference to that authority should be most limited, when the President acts in defiance of Congress. If the executive can act in defiance of the legislature and without the oversight of the courts, why the executive has

unchecked power.

That can't be what they're arguing, is it?

If the statute doesn't impede emergency action, and it doesn't authorize and indeed circumscribes executive action [while providing enormous latitude], it seems
hard for me to get a fix on why this was a good thing.

Monday, December 19, 2005


Saturday, December 17, 2005


How silly of us.

For 213 years, we could have had the executive branch authorizing searches, and we wouldn't have been bothering the judiciary with those pesky search warrants.

What the fuck were we thinking .....?

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Sincere Inquiry

Although the number of regular visitors here is small, it's a diverse group with differing views.

How do you feel about nudity? Is it troublesome when found here on the blawg?

If offended by nudity, please avert thine eyes ....


Boy Howdy!

that's a fine beer!

I think the following are my favourite Cheap Tric songs/recordings -- at the moment.

1) Oh Candy

2) Hot Love

3) Downed

4) Taxman

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


Thank you, Cheezygoof ...

Lessons Learned

One of the pleasures of doing this is gaining insights into my friends and correspondents.

My style, as it were, is unfocused and .... dashed? Most of my postings are typed while standing, and none is given a great deal of thought. I'm ejazulating ideas, as it were. And inchoate ones at that.

Because I'm not writing lengthy, focused, thoughtful insights, but instead frequently allude to my own fleeting thoughts in something only resembling English, people fill in the interstices with their own inferences. Sometimes, they respond to what they think I said; not because they're wrong, but because I don't necessarily make any sense, and they have to make sense of it.

The what they see, and the how they see it, are a source of great interest to me.

s fun.

I just saw that I typed "ejazulating" rather than "ejaculating." Thank Elvis for typos...

Monday, December 12, 2005

The courts

I think it's interesting that the two major political parties in the country both try to use the courts to advance their political agendas because they lack the skills and patience to actually persuade the people.

But what's as interesting, but hidden, has been the willingness of the judiciary to accept the role. It shouldn't be a surprise to me; why wouldn't they want to expand their role? But this country has gone from a federal judiciary with courts of limited jurisdiction to courts of presumptive jurisdiction.

In other words -- you used to have to prove that Congress had expressly created an avenue for you to get before the federal courts to review your claims. Now, you pretty much have to demonstrate that Congress intended to keep you out in order to get the federal courts to limit their review.

Sunday, December 11, 2005


I've decided to go all-out homo.

I'll still fuck only broads, but I wanna do it with divine panache ...



I was driving Jaimie to a friend's house. The radio was on. She said "I kinda hate this song. The band just bugs me."

So I decided "no radio." I hit the CD player, and the song loaded was The Intentions "Rip It Up."

I said "that's funny; I kinda hate these guys. The singer's an asshole."

She said " you mean personally, or in, like, videos?" I said "oh, I don't know..."

She listened for a minute, and then said "I guess it's okay. He sounds like Cher."

Saturday, December 10, 2005

For The Devil On My Other Show-Dler

Friday, December 09, 2005


You want some unsolicited advice?

Don't take a two-pound bag of baby carrots to a September 'Nats game [with ice packs to keep them delicioulsy cool], eat about six of them, put them back in your soft-sided lunch pail, and

leave the pail in your entrance hallway

until Dec. 9.

It's not right ...

My cardiologist told me on Thursday "I wish I could put up a poster of you as a patient."

The blood pressure was good, lost some weight, she liked the high-fiber, low-fat vegetarian thing, she liked the breathing capacity/lungs, she liked the no-booze, didn't pick cigarettes up-sorta-thing.

I'm gonna get hit by a bus ...

Thums Down on "Syriana"

A mild "Thums Down" on Syriana, although it's well-acted and thoughtful.

I thought it would be those things, but I'd also come to believe it was a taut thriller.

It meanders a bit, although the seemingly-disparate plot lines are tied together well.

No one should clamour for a refund; I mean, it's no Walk the Line ...

and in a related note

Why do Ebert and Roeper give two "enthusiastic" thumbs up? Why not just "Four Thumbs Up!"?

I've seen 'em; they can do it.


Thursday, December 08, 2005

John Lennon -- Idiot

Last week, I was struck, while walking southward on 18th street, by an understanding that John Lennon was an idiot. A real idiot.
This was new to me; my history has leaned a different way. I have since softened [upon further "research"], but as I discussed with chris K . and others, what a schmoe ...
For some reason, "God" was playing over a commercial radio station, and I heard it. I listened to Mr. Lennon's litany of things in which he didn't belive, including that silly confab and construct of his, "the beatles." And then I heard him believe in himself, but amend it to include "Yoko and me."
He didn't fucking get it.
All that work, all that pain, to boil down to the truth -- that it's just him. That the only thing he can believe in is himself. the only thing he should believe in is himself -- it's the only thing in the world that he can remotely control.
But no, he just had to believe in a different group. This time a pair rather than four, but still believing in a pair as the important thing, rather than himself.
Don't get me wrong -- being comfortable in, or pleased with, his decision to join with Yoko is an eminently sensible, good thing -- if that's how he felt. Being in love -- fine. But when you're singing about casting off your belief and reliance on the countless crutches of authority, or the binding myths that falsely unite folks [or whatever the man was casting off, not believing in], to then
believe in your "couplehood" was
not right, in my unhumblest of 'pinions.
Of course, listening to Lennon "acoustic," I heard a guitar demo [rather than the piano final] of "God," and heard him sing
"I just believe in me, and that's reality."
So he wasn't really an idiot; he got it.
He was either, as one friend put it, trying not to piss off the puss, or
as I put it,
he elected to include her for some reason other than his lack of understanding.
Schmuck? Maybe. Idiot? I've reconsidered.
I'm sad that he's dead.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Screw It -- Congratulations! These Are HAPPY People!

If Johnny didn't want pictures of his new daughter, Marietta, and his bride up on the WOrldWIdeWEb, he should'nt'a let 'em out of his camera into the ether.

Take care of your girlies, Mr. R ...

I Don't Know How Estaplero Does It

Johnny has to know

some of

the most arcane rules and procedural requirements.

What's worse -- I think that the Second Department [appeals for Brooklyn] is easier than the Southern District of New York.

Lawyers can be such asswipes....

A Nice Workout, Foiled

A nice early morning workout, followed by the at-work-gym-locker-room-shower, was despoiled and foiled when I returned to my locker to find my deoderant/anti-perspirant missing from its prominent position on the shelf.

Does some admirer want me to smell -- ahem -- musky?


Or does a nemesis want my odoriferous pulchritude to set off a stampede?

Or would that be my puchritudinous odor?

I lose track ...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

And One Blurry Shithead

And Even Another Blurry Genius!

Another Blurry Genius

Because You Demanded It!