Friday, March 31, 2006

Man, I Am Messed Up (but I'm COMING BACK!)

Sure, it happens to every damned blog -- it starts with a steamship full of energy, and then slowly turns into a lethargic, bloated mess.
Damn, mine too!
But I have always felt pleased that I could just throw shit on the wall, and my friends would pipe up to comment on its consistency, texture, absence of corn products, WHATEVER!
But lately, i haven't been able to do even that.
I've been running around like ... well, a picture tells four hundred and seventy-eight words...
Anyway, I'm gonna go for broke -- back to tossing turd like a chimp in the zoo.
Or a president in a press conference.
[ooooh; *politics*!]
With opening day yelling from so close, I'll have something I'll have to talk about....
I hope you are all well.
I should explain my absence -- a ton of work. And they pay me the money that keeps me alive.
That new puppy, with which I am helping out.
Some other odds and ends with friends, and
I have been asked to remedy the crazy living conditions I have created the last seven or eight years.
Or, in other words, I've been told to both explain how any human being could live the way I do [did YOU ever have to pirouette just to slip in your front door, because you'd piled shit in every imaginable spot?], and
remedy it.
Days and days of organizing and straightening have placed me in Oscar Madison territory.
And trust me, that's an improvement!
yer pal,
Eric The Alfabee

Monday, March 27, 2006

Atheists Wanted

I seek like-minded skeptics to form a group.

We can get in on this, oh-my-Homies....

Faith Days at RFK

Bring your religious group to a Nationals game and save!

Your religious institution will save up to $3 on Nationals tickets on one of six Faith Days. All groups will see their name in lights on the Nationals scoreboard and one group will be receive The Heavy Hitter Award -- The leader of the group selling the most tickets during the 2006 season will be invited to enjoy a September game in a private box (minimum 250 total tickets sold).

Saturday, April 22 (vs. Braves) – 7:05 pm
Saturday, May 27 (vs. Dodgers) – 1:20 pm
Saturday, June 10 (vs. Phillies) – 1:20 pm
Saturday, July 8 (vs. Padres) – 7:05 pm
Saturday, August 12 (vs. Mets) – 7:05 pm
Saturday, Sept. 16 (vs. Brewers) – 7:05 pm

WHO: Religious groups of all affiliations

OFFER: $3 discount per ticket on the following sections:
Upper View MVP (discount price: $13 each)
Lower View Outfield (discount price: $8 each)
Groups of 50 or more.
CONTACT: Byron Smith – 202.541.1764 (

.yppup wen s'eimiaj

.yppup wen s'eimiaJ fo otohp a yojne thgim uoy thguoht I

The Debate Rages

Heated debate remains -- will the new Crowd Scene record be named "Frothy Coffee," as the band have hinted [stated]? Or will they slip in a new title on us?

You can hear a couple'a selections right here by visiting their MySpace site.

And you can go the Black Puss site to avail yourself of "Don Rickles is God" while the moment lasts -- it's sure to disappear, forever, very soon.

Time Is Winding Down

Time is winding down on this precious life of mine.

Soon, the trees will not bloom.

Train whistles will be silent.

And I will be dead.


remember, daylight savings time starts sunday morning...

Friday, March 24, 2006

I Can't Stop!!!

More, More, More [How Do You Like It? How Do You Like It?]

I Forgot

I Forgot How Much I Loved This Band, and How Much I Loved Michael Reidy . . .

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Barance, Glasshoppel

Balance requires me to add that my current faves of the fab John Lennon [solo] are

Watching The Wheels

Luck of the Irish

Happy Christmas

Cold Turkey [live]

Sweet Little Sixteen


and maybe Gimme Some Truth, although I'll probably go with generation X's version ...

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The New Stadium

Current fave McCartney Solo Songs

My current faves for solo mccartney numbers are:

Girl's School



Maybe I'm Amazed [studio]

Back Seat of My Car

Junior's Farm

Hi Hi Hi

btw, ....THIS is the greatest cover ever of a Macca song. Go to the site, and just let it load!

What are yours faves, baby?

And is anyone going to see his erstwhile partner, Elvis Costello, team with the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra?

pads, paws, and claws, y'all

Outta Whack?

Let's see: the president announced that troops will stay in Iraq at least until he has left office. Iran threatens to take us to a nuke showdown. We've apparently committed troops to defend Israel in certain circumstances. Gasoline is topping $2.60/gal in the metropolitan DC area.

and all I can think about is whether Soriano really will play left all season without bitching and moaning...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I Found God Through Ray Davies

I am pleased to say that I found God at a Ray Davies show last night.

Of course, I'm sad to say that I found God because I was praying for the show to end, and it [thankfully] did...

the place was jammed with people, it was rocking, but Ray was in his rest-on-my-laurels, let's-clap-our-hands-together-and-sing-along best [worst].

I say this with exactly two Ray Davies shows to my name.

The band was a lame road band, too....

I don't think it was just me.

And I hesitate this for fear of hurting "tooth-busted-up chick"...

Saturday, March 18, 2006

I Like The Direction Of This Protest

I Like The Direction Of This Protest

forget star wars....

btw, Natalie Portman is talented and attractive.

clothed or unclothed...

Living Allows You To See Films and Movies

I have returned to the land of the living.

This allows me to see movies. And films.

I'm pretty sure that V for Vendetta is a film, butparts of it are movie all the way.

A comic book centered on Guy Fawkes? Totally, dude!

Friday, March 17, 2006

I Have Not Died

I have not died.

I am in trial.

This is worse than death...

The Mule returneth Mondayeth. Pothibly Thaturdayeth ...

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Little Steven's Underground Garage

For those of you who subscribe to Sirius, Little Steven's Underground Garage [Ch. 25] will be reprising four hours of interview between Little Steven and Ray Davies.

Ray will be discussing his new record, but will probably talk about a few other things.

My Apology

I would like to apoligize to the entire universe for ever owning a Jeep Grand Cherokee.

While I did "use it" for its intended purpose [I drove my sister to the hospital in a blizzard for the delivery of my niece, and then drove around docs and nurses], I don't think that outweighs how fucked it was to spend all that money to drive around a stupidly inefficient giant.

I now decry those who do.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Lanyards Can Be Funny

Guy goes to an A.A. meeting on a Thursday night, wearing a lanyard from the Nat'l S*curity Age**y [with his ID hidden].

One drunk: "Oh, you work for the NSA?"

Second Drunk: "Why, yes."


"We all thought that joke you told your mom on Sunday was a hoot!"

I'm sure this was all a dream...


I know that Robin is obviously cool, hair issues or no.

But is that Tom a cool motherfucker, or what?

For a short stoner goofball, that is...

Thanks, Nick, for photo...

Comments don't seem to be publishing

A genius, an unnamed genius ["m*st*r p*rk*r"] offered this comment which would not publish:

I'll add one caveat: in this case "Congress" and "Democrats" are not purely interchangable terms. It was really the fracturing of the Republican party that doomed the port deal -- it wasn't until Republican leaders in the House signaled that they were ready to torpedo the deal that Dubai backed out.

I think in no small part what doomed the deal was Bush The Younger's apparently typical arrogance in his relationship with Congress. He seems to believe that he need not explain himself or woo supporters; he need only dictate. And having not laid the political and public groundwork for the deal, he shouldn't have been surprised that fear and fearmongering and perhaps even some well-placed concerns filled the vacuum.

I say "shouldn't" have been surprised. He seems to be perpetually surprised when an inconvenient reality that many others see coming a mile off suddenly upsets his utopian applecart.

Although why I should feel comfortable saying this in your blog, I can't imagine. I hear the weather is lovely in Guantanamo Bay this time of year. I'll send you a postcard ...

Friday, March 10, 2006 10:57:16 AM

I'll then add that I don't think Thomas intended for "Congress" and "democrat" to be used synonymously; the issues of what Congress did, and what the democrats must do, are different, and I presume are floating around in his head not fully formed. It was all prompted by Christopher Hitchens' warning to the Dems that, as they got politically juiced up for the fight, to remember that if they prevail politically, they'll be stuck with what they've said, and will have to govern with what they've said. Which led Thomas to think about how political expediency without any underlying commitment or meaningful ideology [or policy] makes governing really, really difficult. Which gets back around to where we are. If you fear monger, and then build up Arab allies, and then fear-mongr, and then blur the distinctions between anyone of any nation living in the area ["Iraq got us on Sep.11" stuff], and play fast and loose with the truth, all for political expediency, you end up with this mess.

But I didn't say all that. And the point about BushYounger getting hosed for not selling his idea -- Jesus Christ, why is this surprising him. He has used "Trust Me" as his policy rationale for everything, and should know that

people don't, and can't.

Reagan should have sold his contra strategy, going over the heads of congress if he had to. He didn't, and they caved in on him because he didn't build a consitutency for his policy [I think that's what IranContra was about, btw]. GWB has so much less goodwill going for him now, and still tries this "I wouldn't allow it if it weren't good for us" crapola....
I'm laying around here in the dirt of Monticello, just looking at the day's papers. Thank God [well, I'm a little iffy on the God thing, but I hedged my bets and emerged a national hero] that there are still some workers around here [immigrant workers, I might add] who read the papers, or at least deposit them near my grave.

David Ignatius has a
thoughtful piece in today's Washington Post that, in a tangential way, touches on the governance v. politics issue I've been mulling lately.

He points out, as an aside, that the opposition of the legislature to the Dubai ports deal was not bare, craven political posturing, but instead represents a legislature expressing the will of its vocal constituency. But I would ask: what are our commitments to globalism, free trade, and international investment? I think the answer is classically American -- we're firmly committed when it's to our patent advantage! But we're not committed when it offends ill-defined notions of nationalism or security. And we're not really committed when it's politically inexpedient, which brings me 'round to my purported party of old. Are the democrats committed or not? If so, can they cast aside, in their times of strife (and needing to secure a legislative victory this fall), reliance on superficial political advantage to craft a genuine message that will let them lead.

I think that the events of the last month help them politically -- they appear stronger on issues of security, and the incumbent party seems confused and wrong-headed, and possibly deceptive. Yet they don't have to suffer the backlash of causing any particular result; the causation is shared, and the dramatic showdown was in any event avoided.

But there will be long-term consequences, and that's what Ignatius addresses. As he so delicately puts it:

I suspect America will pay a steep price for Congress's rejection of this deal. It sent a message that for all the U.S. rhetoric about free trade and partnerships with allies, America is basically hostile to Arab investment. And it shouldn't be surprising if Arab investors respond in kind. One could blame it all on craven members of Congress, if the opinion polls didn't show that Americans are overwhelmingly against the deal -- and suspicious of Muslims in general. Those poll numbers tell us that America hasn't gotten over Sept. 11, 2001. If anything, Iraq has deepened the country's anxiety, introspection and foreboding.

Not having a leader the last five years has hurt us immensely; I hope that the last six weeks haven't done so in ways we'll truly come to regret. But the damage won't be nearly as dramatic.

-- Tommy

You know, these widgets that allow you to blabber without even pulling up a website are shameful, and should be outlawed.

As for the ports -- whew.  Thank God them nasty furriners won't be around.

Um, why don't I feel safer?  My Jingo got hard, but that's about it.
Painful.  Very painful...

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Bird v. Robert

My nephew thinks "Dr. Robert" is a better song than "And Your Bird Can Sing."

I felt that way at age 16, and 18, but not today.

Whaddya you guys think?

Oh, Say, Can You See ...?

I think I'm going to audition this Saturday to sing the National Anthem at a Nationals game.

Don't worry; it'll be the Potomac Nationals.

The worst thing that can happen is I'll embarrass myself, horribly, at the Potomac Mills Mall in front of hundreds, or thousands, of people.

Jesus Christ; like that would be new!

So Long, Shake!


Our good friend mister parker informs us that John Junkin, who portrayed "Shake" in A Hard Day's Night, has shuffled off this mortal coil.

He had the misfortune of being so much taller.

Scheduling Conflicts

I've been planning to post regarding the difference between politics and governance, specifically as I see it relating to the transfer of port control to a company from Dubai.

As democrats look at a genuine possibility of recpaturing the legislature, or at least the lower house, in the next election, they need to be careful what they say and do -- they'll actually have to govern in the aftermath of their elections.

But, being incredibly busy and incredibly dead, I haven't had the time to gather my quill or craft my thoughts.

Damn it all ....

ooooops; gotta go.

Time to bang the help ...

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

You Might As Well Jump

my penis,
putting it
in warm, wooly

Gahd, I Love Cox

It seems that Cox Cable has agreed to carry the 'Nats games this year.

If only I could beat the Comcast folks around the head and shoulders.

I don't get Cox.

Not that there's anything wrong with it...

And our pal Thomas Boswell has written a
very interesting piece about the particular circumstance of Washington DC that makes it more likely than other cities to benefit from a new stadium.

He's not a rah-rah guy on it; he clearly understands that the "new-stadium-haters" have some good arguments, and can demonstrate that the benefits touted by proponents have usually proved illusory. But DC, as a small place where most of the disposable income goes to Virgnia or Maryland, may make out well.


The baby Jesus must be looking out for me...

Stone Amplification

yes, I was trolling for comments.

But now I have a chance to comment.

Oliver Stone's movies don't offend me as preposterous, which I often hear as the knock. I just find them unentertaining, and surprisingly unengaging.

His performers are often left to give startling performances -- line readings are wholly unbelievable, and jarringly at odds with other performances within the same film, and I sometimes find a static look theat is then broken up with self-consciously cinematic camera work

I am not familiar with his entire ouvre, but I believe that I liked Wall Street best. That says something.

I didn't mind the casting of Hopkins as Nixon, either. Just didn't enjoy the flick.

Mr. Parker's ideas about the great Nixon story will have to be realized some day, hopefully in my lifetime [but by someone who came after Milhous].

Not For Me

I don't like this cat's movies:

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Some Judges Make This A Better Life

Thanks to The Smoking Gun for bringing to our attention a recent order of note. Please observe the lone footnote.

More lawyers deserve to receive these, and more judges need to wail, methinks ...

Of course, that could come back to bite me on the ass.

Well, it's back to Idiot Dubster hours .....

Monday, March 06, 2006

Cheezygoof Recommendation redux

You gotta visit her site.

For instance, when you least expect it, you'll trip acress:

Jer says:
I put the 'sexy' in dyslexia

Healthy, Healthy, Healthy

btw -- I'm not sure what I posted that might have given rise to this, but I am healthy.

Indeed, I helped some unnamed friends move this weekend, and they can attest I was the picture of health.

I moved with all the speed and strength of a seventy-year-old man with rickets...

But I am healthy. And in good [although overworked] spirits.

Thanks to those who have inquired.

Welcome Back

I'm back from a long weekend, hoping everyone is well.

I received this e-mail

From: Ronnie

Date: Mon Mar 06, 2006 12:02:21 PM EST
Subject: Make her a zombie

it'll tool 2001 flax
Using this system: sy joel loved roman
You can make any woman submit to you INSTANTLY;
You can make with her EVERYTHING you want;
It?ll be a pleasure for her to fulfill all your DIRTY desires;
au epsom nn 10:00
That is real. What ? s that ? slid

but the nonesensical words were all hidden 'til i highlighted them to paste here.

Y agotta love this internet!

Anyway, I bought it, and now all women submit to me instantly. It's pretty cool. I just wish they had one to make the NL East submit to me, too.

I guess I'll just go for some wicked temple rubs from some hot babes until I figure that part out ....

I hope everyone is doing well. I hear that the HarriDylaThonza went very well at Freddy's on Saturday night, so a big cry out ( I don't "shout" anything ) to Johnny for pulling another one together. I hear LOTS of very good music was made, and not all by the usual suspects.

Our beloved Nats finally got on the right side of the Grapefruit scoreboard, thankee. Let's hope Soriano is .... well, I'd best not finish that thought.

A good weekend for action; chicks in NY are hot for yours truly ["chicks in New York are paying top dollar for this stuff... !"]. Hubba Hubba.

Blog Pimp -- I repay you thusly:

Friday, March 03, 2006

I Loved Her So

Our first trip to New York together ...

november 81

In November of 1981, the whole world was in front of us ...

Damn It

Fucking thing blew out my PCMCIA bus....

Fucking fucker.

Well, the FW port seems to still be working.

R.I.P. Harry Browne

A lot of my guys seem to be dying lately.

My presidential candidate died.

He rarely looked up expecting martians, and he got it. Except when he didn't get it. Which, like all people, was some of the time.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Music, and Art

Gee, do you think this will make the Black Puss record sound any better?


The World Baseball Classic is coming up.

The Typo

To paraphrase mister watson --

the typo is a like a little found fossil of stupidity, or carelessness.

I love them so...