Sunday, December 31, 2006

A Genius


Happy Birthday to Paul Westerberg.



Although I think his decision not to "sing like a kid" was criminal, he wrote some of the great rock of my lifetime.

And still writes a great song.


Happy Birthday.


Swordfish, Swordfish


Mary!

Chris's mom -- a plain funny broad!

Still Waiting On That Honorarium


Scott, Phil, Tom, and Grahame.


Rockin' in the free world.


Still waiting on that check from Roberta.


If the bitch had sent eight bucks, it woulda been fine. Four bucks. A buck [hey, $.25 a night as musician is still a "profit"].

But the bitch stiffed us.


I'll go outta '06 thinking of that.




okay; I lied. I don't care. I just found the photo.

I love all 'a you mulesters . . . .

Music from 1968

Charlie Parker has a great little link to get you some 1968 john peel sessions. Tim Buckley.



Um -- yum yum.


Seriously.


thanks again to tom sutpen
I'm done.

One of the Great Canards

Although often spewed, it is one of the great falsehoods of animal care -- oh, you should let her have at least one cycle [go into heat] before spaying her.


Balderdash.



Jaimie's vet wanted to slap the woman offering this "sage" advice.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Saddam, I heard you was hung . . .

Alliteration

ya gotta love that NY Post:


SADDAM IS THE KING OF SWING


BYE-BYE TO BUTCHER OF BAGHDAD AS DIABOLICAL DICTATOR IS HANGED BEFORE DAWN TO DELIGHT OF OPPRESSED IRAQIS

. . . fog settles in on the sleepy hamlet of Washington, DC

Friday, December 29, 2006

I know, I know; how can I recommend a film with Stiller & Owen?



They're just not as offensive as normal that's all . . .

Quickies

Night at the Museum -- Thums up! Two words -- Mickey Rooney.


Happy Feet -- Thums Down. Two words -- Robin Williams.



Yes; I know; Williams was in both films.





But he Was IN Happy Feet in every evil way imaginable . . .

Paul Rawks!




Pabo Picasso -- the most underrated artist . . .

I hope that this Obama character doesn't secretly pull the wings off flies, as he otherwise seems the sort of fellow you willingly allow into your house 365 days a year.


word of wwarning

if

you take a prescription that induces an acute burning sensation [a mega 'hot flash"], such that you are advised only to take it before sleep;

And

the prescription advises not to ingest certain OTC supplements that exacerbate the flush;

And

you sleep in a dwelling with small, lethal handguns*;

Then

don't wake up.




*[ooooh; a "double redundancy" -- my fave]].



Ow. Ow ow ow. Ow.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Good to know I'm covered:

Hi, Dear

WHAT IS IT?
The Vagina Fleshlight recreates the velvet texture of a young woman's vagina, and,
with proper lubrication, feels like the real thing.
Comes in five shades (Pink, Mocha, Chocolate, Lavender, and Ice).
Lubrication sample included.

WHO IS IT FOR?
Dude, this one's for your private use.

HOW DO YOU USE IT?
First, place the gel insert (the "vagina") in hot water, until it becomes warm.
Next, place the Vagina Fleshlight back into the canister, and lubricate your penis, as well as the entry and canal of the product.
Finally, penetrate the toy as you would penetrate a woman.

For cleanup, simply take the gel insert out of its plastic case and run hot water through to remove your semen.
Disinfect it with alcohol. Towel or air-dry it and place it back into the canister.
Re-powder it with cornstarch in order to restore its silky feel.

HOW SEXY IS IT?
6/10
It looks like a flashlight, but feels like a vagina. No one ever has to know what it is.
http://geocities.com/ashegpksG55

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I need to be the leaderjpmdebvr my crew looks for me to guide 'em



Your Francisco
and one thing I've always loved about The Intentions -- their first headlining gig prominently featured Love Me Do by Badfinger . . .

THIS is a scary record!

I Ain't Got You 1:47 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Mary, Mary 2:53 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
interlude 1 0:27 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Fools Gold 3:29 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Two of Us 0:39 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 2 0:18 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 3 0:19 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Doo Wah Diddy Diddy 2:20 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 4 0:09 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 5 0:13 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 6 0:19 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 7 0:09 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
You Can't Do That 2:51 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Have You Seen My Baby? 2:18 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Love Is Love 3:38 The Same Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 8 0:05 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Who Needs You (instrumental) 3:53 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 9 0:05 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Who Needs You? 3:52 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Tomless for Jacqui 3:50 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 10 0:10 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Tomless for Jacqui, take 2 3:42 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 11 0:07 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Cheap Disguise (no vox) 2:56 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Don't Talk Down (demo, no vox) 3:39 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
War (demo, no vox) 3:30 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Resistance(demo, no vox) 2:39 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Military Smile (Can't Forget) [demo; no vox) 3:28 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 12 0:10 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Inside Out 9Demo; no vox) 4:17 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
You're The One (demo; no vox) 4:14 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
Interlude 13 0:20 The Same, and The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
I'm Wrong / New Joke /Don't Talk Down [no vox] 10:15 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk
War / Cheap Disguise 6:19 The Intentions Blue Coat Basement -70s, 80s, and beyond! Alternative & Punk






Players: Bill McClench, Phil Ricche, Tom Rogers, John Sharples, J. Scott Watson
I Cannot Tell A Lie.



For a man who reached this station in life because he ostensibly could not keep his dyck in his pants,


I surely don't get a lot of action.









Je suis le idiot leader in the clubhouse. . . .

Go ahead -- I dare ya!

anybody care to try to defend the word regifting?

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

courtesy of Bellottoot . . .

insightful:

Harry Truman dies December 26, 1972.
Jack Benny dies December 26, 1974.
Gerald Ford dies December 26, 2006.
These things always happen in threes.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

My Daughter Enjoys her NYC


She grabbed this shot because she loves it.





She loves it in a juvenile, arrested, simple way, but





whom amongst us doesn't?


[other than Pete Hammill, of course . . . and John Keeeeeerrrrry]]
btw, were my Christmas decorations too ostentatious?















I listened to the Crowd Scene, and DuJour, all day on Christmas.

DuJour was for my dotter.

RIP





He sticks to caffeine highs, to see this one straight through . . .






I'm pretty sure a visible shiver ran down michael s. reidy's back this Christmas.

I missed James Brown at El Coliseo Capin in late '73; I regret it to this day. He had ants in his pants, and he needed to dance.














i prefer my effects in camera, and therefore eschew photoshop. it's a preference, not a judgment.

Christmas in Review





I hope that a good time was had by all.


Monday, December 25, 2006


Ho-Ho-Fucking-Ho!



Don't Du That, Y'Mutha!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

I Believe I'll Keep My Collegiate Daughter

The scene:

Christmas Eve Dinner.

Me (trying to be provocative and shocking): Where am I gonna find a naked broad on Christmas Eve night?

Daughter: Hmmm -- Jewish strip bar?

Chutney


Although i don't believe in a personal God, I do believe that I should like to bang Marilyn Monroe . . .

Oh yeah, sure -- it's just as much fun to shop at the iTunes "store" as it is to shop here . . .

Okay, SAS Comes Through!

If you buy today, the earlier month's worth of specials is available today. ALL of them.
Paris, Copenhagen, Warsaw, Prague, Tallinn, Stockholm, Zurich, Riga, Amsterdam, Luxembourg, Oslo, Gdansk, Vienna, Helsincki, Brussels, Bergen, Turku, Gothenburg, London . . . each is $199 each way, R/T req'd.!


Yo -- 'dat's a lotta Cheddah!




right here!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Cheezy Expands Her Empire

Cheezy -- quite a few people who don't participate in this boggything [at least not actively] send me e-mails quoting Sandra The Cheezygoof.

Thank you, Richard Lloyd!


It may be a well-known, oft-used phrase by the hip New York-musician types, but I'd never heard it before [although the concept is so damned obvious that my head hurts . . .].

In describing a record he was wildly excited about -- a SOUND he was wildly excited about -- Lloyd said

"oh, man, that is a short wire record! Short wire, loud guitars!"


Thanks to the engineers, Bob QUine, and Matthew Sweet, Lloyd ensured that Girlfriend was a


SHORT WIRE RECORD!




for our readers not familar with the recording or amplifying provesses, guitar-playing geeks and recording-engineer-like nerds love to buy lots of boxes that make all kindsa wacky sounds -- which usually date a record ten seconds after it's made, or make a guitar sound like -- a guitar played througha little floor box. But i digress .. . . .

A short wire implies that it's skipping all of that extra nonsense, and the guitar plugs right into the amp and kicks some fucking ass coming out in a loud, rocking way.

Steve Allen could explain WHY it rocks, but, again, I digress . . . . . .



He didn't have to die, you know.

You mean, just now?



Chatter is what they say, ya know?

Friday, December 22, 2006


Don Stroud is not as big a star as Gary Cooper was . . . .

$15,556.22





Well, there's a quick $15,556.22 that I didn't drink since quitting.







Advisory: Asalways,thedollaramountwascalculatedbasedonVaABC'schargeof$25.01/litreofJoseCuervo,go-toboozechoice.Calculationisbasedonconservativeestaimteofconsumption,anddoesnotincludewineorotherboozepurchasedatrestaurantsorotherspots.

SAS to London only $199 / each way

paris? london?



naaaaaahh -- StoCKhoLm !!!

slap this in yer browser:

http://www.scandinavian.net/EC/Appl/Home/FrontDoor/0,,SO=937386&DEBUG=true&MKT=US,00.html

Thursday, December 21, 2006

goddamnit, I won't be working again until 2007.




well, I'll just have to make the best of it . . .

tea man


what a shock -- a teapot, sex pistols mug, and beautiful, organized desk . . .

Nick Lowe Discusses Don Rickles





Jeezus -- what a geek.

I got excited because, at the age of forty-gazillion, I had never heard of "Parthian" as an adjective, and did not know of a "Parthain shot" [opting instead to use the common "parting shot" with which many of you may be more familiar . . . if you're like ignorant, geeky me. But I digress. . . .].

Parthian:

1 : of, relating to, or characteristic of ancient Parthia or its people
*2 : relating to, being, or having the effect of a shot fired while in real or feigned retreat

Example sentence:
As a Parthian shot, she said that the other candidate simply did not understand the needs of the city's citizens.



Thanks to Merriam Webster for educating me . . .

A-HA!!!! I knew it!!


I just knew that I wasn't a big, fat pig because of all the Jose Cuervo, pizza, and lard-laden shit that I poured down the ol' throat into the gullet for way too many years!!

Nor was it from lasying around on my fat ass waiting for some soft-core porn to show up on Cinemax!


It was those fucking microbes all along!

[purple is a link, you know . . .]



"This is very exciting," said Barbara Corkey, an obesity researcher at Boston University. "We don't know why the obesity epidemic is happening. People say it's because of gluttony and sloth. I think there must be something else. It's exciting to see some work being done on alternative explanations."




"Gluttony"? "Sloth"? They've always worked for me!

It Just Hadn't occurred To Me


It just hadn't occurred to me to travel to Tallinn.



Indeed, while I had a trace memory of the place-name, I must confess that I did not immediately know where Tallinn is.


BUT


if you would like to travel to the capital of Estonia for a mere $199 each way, R/T purchase required, then the capital of Estonia awaits you at SAS.


Now let me get this straight. . . the Sandihoovian peoples damned near conquered the world -- well, at least large parts of the Northern hemisphere -- while we Scots sat around in mud huts going "turn on the television, Shirley," and they're flying to Estonia, fer Chrissakes??

Wednesday, December 20, 2006



The next time I hear Tennessee Tuxedo, I may have a hard time forgetting that this man was a Marine who invaded Guadalcanal.

He was the sole survivor of his marine platoon's invasion of Guadalcanal . . .


RIP
Not even I can get excited about $199 fares to Gdansk / / /

Broads I Don't Want to Ball, No. 1


Here's a quick peek into broads that I sincerely don't want to ball. Today, tomorrow, or any day.


This list is depressingly long, now that i think about it.

A year-end roundup of the antiball next week . . .!



It's funny how tastes work -- I know that, to varying degress, these women are desired by countless men across this fine nation of ours.

The "I don't get it" factor is extraordinarily high for me -- either because I don't see it [Crawford; Simpson; Hi1. . . okay -- I now see that I really don't SEE it for any of these], or because the personality is so vile that they are rendered icky.

Simpson is a great qualifier in each category, although i think that paris Hilton is our clubhouse leader

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

and I will soon make a pithy observation about Earl Butz . . .


Can we all just acknowledge the 900-lb. white forilla-elephant in the room?

Mel Gibson was right.


Why, when Emperor Hirohitostein authorized General Tojoberg to invade Machuria and China [and to bomb Purl Harbour], that was pretty much sealed, wasn't it . . . .?